Trying to work it out

That happily ever after
does not exist
never did

Who conjured that deceptive
illusion?

My yearning, unnamed
painful
is for something more which
cannot be satisfied
this side of eternity

But it persists
revealing my perfectionist nature
ironically - a flaw

So many others sing
this song of struggle
the tension of life

I remember Anne
and the day she had
the pail
Oh, how we crave
your pure milk

I balance
walk the tight rope
fall
and feel the truth
in the pit
the necessary reality
of restoration, reclamation

How can I see the grace
unless I've faced the gallows

So I try to embrace both
"May the taint be upon you"
"And also upon you"