The Fear

Is it ever safe
to let go
give it all away
(if I have anything left)

Now, I want to
yearn to
stop holding back
and receive you
in return

Am I ready?
Do you want me?
will you cherish
protect
love

Then the fear
rises
like the bile in the back
of my throat
bitter
burning
up from the gut
deepseated
and it hovers
no pill can banish it
no one else
would know
they can't see it
on my face
or in my demeanor
or general deportment

"She looks happy"
but she's been risking
gambling
on a narrow margin
she fears bankruptcy
insolvency

I can only pray
you are my
interest bearing account
principal protected
producing dividends
to nourish us
both