After We Parted

They don't know
neither do I
do I miss you or the idea of you

I miss your quiet presence
but am made crazy
waiting for your words

I miss your willingness to do
anything
but am left wondering if you are
just a pleaser

but how could this be
you don't seem to want to
please me
don't understand
acknowledge as valid or even see
my deep seated need

I love you

What do mere words mean
anyways?

I am willing to lay down my life

But what is love
is love disintegration
DIS - INTEGRATION

Being one is
being integrated
so this cannot be

It is the
antithesis of
LOVE = INTEGRATION

Either way
I seem to be falling apart