Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Return

For the first time
in my life
I felt a compulsion
to get up and move
towards you
regardless of
what I should be doing
or could be doing
what or whom
needed caring for
to hell with the bags
let them disappear
be stolen
I'm leaving my baggage behind
I'm throwing off my chains
no inhibitions left
I'm unfettered

I don't even recall
how I navigated
the cramped seating
the high carriage
of the land cruiser

And there you were
clean
in this dusty landscape
be-spectacled and
kerchiefed
as I remembered you

Our bodies fell together
in blessed greeting
my glasses
my hat
flew
I didn't realize
my face was wet

I've come back
to this place
of peace and calm
back to myself
back to you

Sunset moments
concrete warmth at my back
red hot coals
ready to offer
cooked sustenance
and nourishment

I drink your milky tea
sweet
from your
chipped tin cup

Nothing has ever
tasted so good
except maybe your food
I eat with my hands

Late
into our one night
too short
we share
all that is long past
happy
sad
ALL

When
will we meet again?
on this side
or the other

Wherever
I know
this love will keep

For
I love you
and you love me
and I know
why
I was happy here

I called you my friend

I called you my friend
that sunny breezy day
when I shared my dark haze
with women the colour of you
and their shiny countenance's
heard my pain
verified the same

Much is now past
I see only
the back of your creased head
as you avert your gaze
at my request


And we daren't
let our eyes lock
you seeing what is
within mine
and your desire plain
for me
for all to see

I still want to hate you
think ill of you
because if I don't
where will all this
end
what piece of me
will you feast on next

Standing before all those women
those witnesses
I could not call you
my lover
I could not call you
my partner
I could not call you
HA
my boyfriend
how ridiculous that sounds
even to my own ears

But with you I could cry
from my head to my toes
shaking
ashamed as I was

You released me

You said - if it bothers you
do whatever it takes
consider something radical

You said - you need help

And that was all
the nudge I needed
to go and find her
this new old me
that you don't know
and you've never seen

I still can't believe
that on that day
I called you my friend