Friday, February 29, 2008

With You

Every day
there are new ways
to miss you

In your absence
I see again
all the quiet
special
softlysweet
things
you do

An oasis song
composed by your love
cuddled close
only to enjoy a moment of
reciprocal proximity

But now 
all I have 
is
your voice
accessible at the end
of the day
at the end
of the line

A daily ritual
my last call
as pleasurable
as my first 
morning sip
hot and creamy
sweet and dark
not necessary
but oh,
what indulgence
as I slide into 
my day

All is well
taken care of
in order
for right now

But as I lay down
after
single in my double
I plot and plan
my mind lays out
endless
permutations and
computations
of how this will end
or rather
begin

more and more
I want to begin
with you
I am ready 
to end
with you

This one is just for You

You words
my words
seem silly, trite as
I think of recounting them
aloud

But they were not
those FIVE FALL WEEKS
we thought of what
it would be like to be
toGETHER at least
temporarily, initially

Your daydreams of
a twirling lady
my late nights, unable to rest
follow by spontaneous
early awakenings

Faux telephone kisses
wet and exaggerated
perfecting the sound
for you to enjoy
flirty words written
and deliciously
inappropriate silences
over the wires

I like the way you
looked tall and hurried
as you emerged from
your car

Eyes shielded by your
Serengetis and
your timid repeated
closed mouth kisses
as you encircled me
with your long arm
strumming my side
like I had a tune
for you to play

You were so polite
"Can I rub on you?"
"Am I smashing you?"

Yet you rudely woke me
boldly wanting to show me
proof
something tangible
powerful

Later I realized
I wanted you to ask me
those same questions
to seek me out
when I was 81 and
you 84
[presuming I'm given a small portion
of the longevity enjoyed by your lineage]

But you still
blew me away
the morning after
with talk of Japan
and footing the bill
over bacon and eggs and pancakes
and your "what ifs?"
prior to departure

And I wonder, will you
do you
grow tired of me requiring you
to spell-it-out
too impatient to wait
since you set
an early standard
of rushing to the place
where we're headed
[who am I kidding, I'd rush anyways]

This one year we've had
365 days
so few without words
one way or another
and prayers aplenty
spoken or thought
together and apart

Is it enough
to know?

Can we make it
to 81, 84 and
beyond
still wanting the comfort
of
each
other?

I am not talking about him

I could sooner banish you
from my thoughts
as learn to
breath 
without air

You hem me in
before and behind
yet enlarge
my borders and 
horizons

It is true
nothing compares
to you

I'd risk it all
rather than give
up even the
thought of you

Rather than live
without your hand
on my shoulder

Tell Her

I haven't had a chance
yet
to share this 
with my girl

She needs to hear
but not wait 30 years to open
her ears
to the peals
all around
those belles and beaus
ringing their love
ringing their love

They sing
loud and soft

But if you
close up your heart
nothing
can make you
reverberate with
the motion 
of the ocean
of pure
(there is no other word)
LOVE

So I want her
to know
all around her
are the sounds
waves
coming to envelop
and tell her 
she is loved

Please
don't wait
til you're 
middle aged
and
an almost stranger
coworker
has to tell 
you
what you were too
blind to
look at
too deaf to be
opened to
the indisputable
fact
they love you
they all do

open up
let it in

as Wally says
drink their milkshakes
accept their love
(pardon my misquote
but...)
you are loved

The Process


They spin

and whirl
they plop 
and plunk
themselves down

mostly 
fully formed
like particles 
or drops
just waiting
to be collected
distilled into 
their final 
precious
refined liquid

no not liquid

SOLID
yes,
their solid firm 
real tangible
FORM

I feel sometimes
I have very little 
to do with it 
ALL
they come 
complete or
just with a 
little assembly necessary

Follow the instructions
no batteries required
plug and play
away you go
you're set
done
good to go

So
how can I
be flattered 
when you say
nothing
short of professional

these gifts
I willingly share

and share 
in your wonder 
about how they got here