Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Triggered

What is this part of me
that I so want someone
to touch and hold
caress and cherish

And I know
I've been told
that is the gift I must
give myself

How dis-eased and
close to the edge
am I
that just a flash
of the blade
by way of a few
bars of music
or golden notes from
a songbird's throat
or some instrument strains
or a few frames
lay me bare
raw and eviscerated
vulgar and oozing
with a longing
that will not be named

My Own Wisdom

There is something here
trying to be birthed
I feel it
I'm trying to make
sense of it
push it out

Where's the lesson
for him
for me

My nesting continues
all of this effort
is trying to find
a home

Perhaps I was
a farm wife
in
another life
happy at the hearth
warm
hands in dough
flour hiding
beneath my burnished
smooth and precious
metal circle

necessary needed vital appreciated

I'm learning
knowing the impossibility
of rushing yeast
or pushing the river

In it's time
the perfection
will be drawn from the oven

to be shared
enjoyed
leaving only crumbs
and a tasty memory
warming the soul

This is what
I want with you
from you
to create with you

And all I can do
is ponder the improbability

Pity Party

It seems so easy for everyone else
a little of this
a little of that
and everything works out fine

my efforts
diligent, concerted
earnest, honest
never yield the results
I'm yearning for

After We Parted

They don't know
neither do I
do I miss you or the idea of you

I miss your quiet presence
but am made crazy
waiting for your words

I miss your willingness to do
anything
but am left wondering if you are
just a pleaser

but how could this be
you don't seem to want to
please me
don't understand
acknowledge as valid or even see
my deep seated need

I love you

What do mere words mean
anyways?

I am willing to lay down my life

But what is love
is love disintegration
DIS - INTEGRATION

Being one is
being integrated
so this cannot be

It is the
antithesis of
LOVE = INTEGRATION

Either way
I seem to be falling apart