Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Her World

I see you in her world
your measured truth
your sterile responses
and I wonder where
you live?

Where lies the moaning
and groaning
the crying and gnashing?
What can reduce you
to your primal scream ?

I hear from her
that there may be
a flash from some
hidden place
But even she admits
she doesn't know your heart

And of all who are
priviledged in your sphere,
she should be admitted there

So this unnerves me
and I wonder what
you hide
and why
and where

Savannah Airport

I watch your people
embrace in this deep
bayou land
meet and greet
enfold and encircle
lip lingering upon lip
And I mourn
the absence of
yours upon mine
sliding wet flesh
all moist

And I don't want
this gush of
you oozing and spilling
upon my consciousness
Distraction is my only
tool left

I await the moment
When my little one sees me
and her small feet jump

I will squeeze her
so tight - until
the love, her love
out of every pore
upon me
washing me
free from thoughts
and memories of you

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Deadlines - the reckoning April 30, 2005

The sky descends
like a pewter grey ceiling
I drive past their big castles
walk past their men
holding hands with their small girls
and I look into their eyes
wondering if any could be
my one time guest
in the hole you left

I never thought
I could be that woman
who would settle
and divide her life
in squares
neat and not so tidy like

And I ponder
are my black thoughts
just a function of my
dark chemistry
or a product of my visit
to the cancer ward yesterday?

My friend Ade
flayed from nave to chops
to rip out the invader
which will not retreat
making her belly swell
though not with sweet
fertile seed

Her hand descends
to caress with annointing oil
her burden
her burthen
gently rubbing
trying to make it move

"Will you rub it for me?"
Tenderly I lay hands
upon the swollen mound
firm but without
a familiar swish or kick
smooth and round
I imagine every ounce of my love
and care
seeping, nay pouring
from my tips
as if that was all it took
to make this thing come forth,
be delivered

And the song comes
from my lips
full of spirit and healing
and the liquid salt leaks
splashing on the taunt drum
raising her
from her deserved moments
of peace and calm

All is not right with
this world
And I no longer wonder
why I cry
or why
my tears swell
without warning

The ledger is
not balanced
When will the account be reconsiled?

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Spring Morning Revelations

These hairs of brow and lip and chin
are the bane of my
declaring my unfeminity
my age
the necessity of
continual upkeep

I look around
we're all vulnerable
regardless of our vigilence
I spy that curly fellow
she missed in her morning inspection
and think
she is too young
to have to deal and conceal

My sisters are
polar opposites
one with hairy
One with
prebooked ongoing
dedicated time
to ferreting out
every last
dark and twisted traitor
while she chases
the first sister
with her self same
instruments of torture
and submission

And I think
of languishing days
far off (?) -
who will come and assist
my frail hand with
my continual upkeep?
my frail eyes fail

And what will you say
think and do
when the truth is revealed?
Your critical eye
I've seen before
and felt it's heat
as my delicate heart
But I've learned
what it is I need
To stretch my cormorand wings
bolder than a
flasher with
trech coat flapping
taking it all off
revealing every
crack and hair
flaw and droop and sag
And to hell
with you
if you can't see
the beauty
of every
line and wrinkle
bought and paid for
each with meaning
and worth

Uncautious Cormorand

Another bird speaks to me
of his innate ability
to stand and BE
as he was intended

Wing outstretched
buffetted and blown
It matters not that the wind
keeps on

He knows his place
and stands firm
unapologetic to any one
but not competing with
the one nearby
who also knows his place
is sure
here and in the sky

I see you first
exposing dark corners
for all to view
your spenderous limbs
The other outstretched
and ready to embrace
freely all that comes his way

Let me take your
lessons to my heart
Open my eyes and arms
to all that life imparts
Let the wind not buffet
but blow all my ills
away and show
that I can stand
arms outstretched
and not demand
but take what comes
be still
still BE
and STAND.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

In honour of Catherine

This grin sits comfortably
at the end of this day
a good day
a good way
to begin

And was it a test
for you or for me?
and did I pass?

"Do you want to take my hand?"

I did feel something
peculiar and fine
as yours slipped
into mine

Maneuvering betwix'd and between
all her treasure
and the press of the crowd

And I hope we can
find our treasure
as easily
as you obliged
when I offered up my hand